Esti Wolo

The great thing about teens? They aren’t afraid to ask the questions we’ve all thought of, but would never dare voice in polite society.

On our side of the desk, we hear the deep questions. The good questions. The hard questions.

“Why can’t Hashem be more open-minded? Why can’t He accept me the way I am?”

“Where do I fit in Hashem’s bigger picture?”

“What do I do if my family or friends disparage Yiddishkeit?”

“Shabbos is boring — how do I make it meaningful?”

“Why do I have such a hard life?”

Because living a meaningful, G-dly life is so central to our goals at Ichud, we prioritize these kind of questions.

We recognize that growing up frum often makes it difficult to appreciate the beauty of a connected, Torah lifestyle. In the rush of life, it’s easy to forget our divine calling.

So in response to our students’ requests, we’ve rolled out a 7-part weekly Sefira series entitled, “Meaningful Connections.”

Spearheading this brand-new project are Rifky Herman and Sarah Zehavi, two of our favorite therapists.

They’re super enthusiastic about giving the girls a casual, intimate platform to share their thoughts freely and they’ve curated a fantastic list of speakers who aren’t afraid to explore these questions, share their life stories, and get to the core of being a Jew on a mission.

Week 1 rolled out the red carpet for Mrs. Ayala Vogel, a captivating and warm woman who immediately connected with the girls.

She gave us an inside tour of her life, candidly describing her childhood, challenges, and the strong emunah that has carried her throughout.

Her experiences have taught her that life is transient, and the only thing that matters is the difference you make in this world and the deeds you leave behind, as Mishlei says, “Tov shem m’shemen tov.”

Week 2’s Mrs. Luba Glasser moved us with her incredible life story.

A baalas teshuva who faced tough tests and difficult choices, she prevailed again and again. Her secret to spiritual survival? She carries G-d’s phone number. Her running dialogue with G-d, even if she’s angry or sad, ensures her connection stays secure.

She also validated the unique struggle FFBs have: “It’s difficult to recognize diamonds when you’re buried in them.” But she promises a firm relationship with Hashem will give you the clarity and strength to overcome anything life throws at you.

The response has been terrific.
Our girls are engaging, thinking, discussing — and eagerly looking forward to the rest of the series’ inspiration.

Another beloved speech therapist/writing teacher, Miss Bina Mandel, was ordained our Feature Teacher this month. The girls gravitate towards her sunny smile, sincerity, and wholehearted devotion to their growth. Her interview was especially moving, as she described her struggles with learning and the power of a single teacher’s belief in her.

Now Miss Mandel is clearly paying it forward. She devotes hours of her personal time and resources to our girls, with outstanding results.

Lots of people think they can rattle off ADHD behaviors. Hyperactivity. Impulsivity. Inattention. 

But like icebergs, 87% of problematic ADHD behavior is hidden beneath the surface. 

Impaired sense of time. Coexisting anxiety and depression. Low frustration tolerance. Weak executive functioning. Sleep disturbance. Learning disabilities. 

At our yearly professional development, therapist and ADHD specialist Dovid Becker, LCSW-CCSP, had our staff riveted by his excellent presentation and analysis of ADHD in children. 

Mr. Becker walked us through a beneath-the-surface assessment (see great infographic here) of children with ADHD and unpacked the real story of their struggles. He shared with us his expert approach to intervention and treatment, and best of all left us with actionable tips to support student learning. (My favorite was the Time Timer; bought it on the spot!)

Here are some takeaways from our staff:

“He really gave us insight into the minds of students with ADHD. Definitely helped me appreciate their struggles.”

“I always felt that students with ADHD lag behind their peers in emotional maturity,  which affects their personal decision-making. Fascinating to see the research tracks a 3-5 year delay, confirming my suspicions.”

“He ran through a typical school day and gave us cool hacks to implement in the classroom.” 

“I liked how he emphasized the importance of strong psycho-pharmaceutical collaboration between the school, home, and medical team.” 

“Left untreated, children with ADHD feel so misunderstood. It’s so important for them to be reached before they reach adulthood, broken and world-weary.”

And that’s our cue. 

Our team at Ichud fills the gaps in our students’ learning by identifying and targeting their weaknesses head-on, creating confident and competent classroom learners. 

Alumnae Reunion

Reunions are always special, but ours, I like to think, are something else. 

Girls with husbands and babies and jobs and college work. It makes my heart fill knowing that with siyatta dishmaya and our well-placed support, they’ve made beautiful and successful lives for themselves.

It was with great pleasure that I welcomed staff and alumnae to our yearly reunion. We met at Toast Well Done and enjoyed “Palm Reading and a Peek into EFT” with Sashi Fridman. 

I took the opportunity to share the story of one alumna’s recent, incredible accomplishment. 

Back in high school, this student had a vision. She was going to create a non-profit for girls in foster care and give them the taste of home and belonging they needed to weather their turbulent lives. 

As far as visions go, this was a big one. 

Not that I doubted her enthusiasm and passion, but building dreams of that magnitude is difficult business. The sheer grit it takes to create an organization from the bottom up can leave the most capable and confident in near tears. 

I should’ve known better.  

A scant two years later, her non-profit is up and running, providing support, care, and a taste of home for disadvantaged young women in the community. 

And this is not some easy-come easy-go project. She has galvanized volunteers, received endorsements from laymen and rabbanim, and cleared a hugely successful fundraising campaign. 

With not much more than her dreams and steady determination driving her forward. 

We adults sometimes forget how capable our kids are. 

Unreserved in their passions and unlimited in their optimism, children are natural trailblazers. 

And I don’t need to look past my own students for inspiration.

Seminary Bnos Aliyah trip to Panama 

Far be it for me to take the seminary girls on a simple vacation; I wanted our overseas midwinter trip to be both a skill-building and spiritually inspiring getaway.

Panama (no, not Florida) checked off all the boxes. 

Rather unusual, but breathtakingly beautiful, Panama is teeming with nature, culture, and rich Jewish history. 

For our girls, it was an added opportunity to conquer unchartered territory from within and without. 

Quite literally. Because feeding wild monkeys, wading in tributaries on horseback, visiting ethnic tribes, and grilling freshly caught red snapper while having the time of your life requires an open, adventurous mind. 

Shabbos was tasteful and uplifting in our beautiful accommodations. We enjoyed workshops from speakers in the Panamanian community, including the widely-known kiruv activist, Berel Solomon. 

A smashing success, by all accounts. 

Purim anticipation is mounting! Bursts of spirited song, chagigas with all the trimmings, and lots of bewigged and be‘tutu’ted girls abound in every school. May we be zoche to tap into the greatness of the day with boundless joy, hope, and tefilla. 

Celebrating the joy of Purim and the magic of our girls,

Your girls take midterms?

Of course they do!

They might need some help refining their study strategy, organizing their week, and loosening up on test day. But they’re just like every other kid on midterm week —  mostly prepared, slightly jittery, and more than a little eager to prove their salt. 

So, how do we get them from queasy to confident?

First, we bust some myths:

1. “Tests these days are made for geniuses. Unless I have a photographic memory I’m gonna fail.”

Studying has nothing to do with mindless memorizing and everything to do with strategic planning. 

Strategic planning = a successful performance. 

Weeks in advance we move into action. 

💥Our speech therapists, led by Mrs. Penina Kaufman, SLP model hands-on strategies and time management techniques in study skills workshops, that prep our girls to pace, plan and perfect their game plan. 

💥Co-teachers and counseling staff create personalized study plans for each student that map their study time day by day. 

💥 And teachers create in-depth reviews, outlines, and cram sheets, that help our girls master the material with ease. 

2. “As long as you have the notes, and memorize them until you’re blue in the face, you’re good. “

  Yeah, maybe if you’re Einstein. 

We believe in active reading and learning. It’s research-based and it works.

Our girls learn how to deep dive into their info, go through 1st, 2nd, and 3rd reads like a pro, ask pointed questions during reviews, and create associations and flashcards that actually stick. Boots on the ground. 

They could teach mainstream kids a thing or two about surviving midterm muddle. 

3. “Midterms is a school headache. Not a mom and dad problem.”

Not quite. 

The home-school partnership is a huge piece in your daughter’s success. 

Moms and dads, you can support your daughter by encouraging 1st, 2nd, and 3rd reads and keeping tabs on her midterm schedule. A reassuring note or little treat goes a long way in showing her you care. 

The rest is just positive thinking, a good night’s rest, and siyatta d’Shmaya. 

And thus we win the battles — and the war. 

Good luck to us all!

January hasn’t been all study and sweat. 

This month, we were delighted to learn that we have some super-talented young ladies in our midst. 

Dancers, singers, and actresses in both the 9th and 12th grades starred in YOB’s riveting musical about Communist Russia, while Gur’s Expo Illuminated run by the talented Mrs. Rochel Rosenwald, featured a stunning manifestation of the four galiyos, presented in true-to-life exhibits and breathtaking performances.  

Dr. Tamara Perlman delivered yet another powerful workshop to our speech and counseling staff. Her talk,  “How to Identify Telltale Signs of Trauma in School,”  explored the impact Big T’s and Little T’s have on a child’s psyche and how to treat signs of life in seemingly “dead” limbs and lives. 

This month’s Feature Teacher applauded a brand new teacher, Mrs. Sara Toby Silver. Mrs. Silver melded right into the pace and style of Ichud HS as if she had been with us for years. From the start, Mrs. Silver captured both the love and respect of her students. The girls feel accountable in her class but are also drawn to her warmth and ease. 

Case in point. Last week a few students approached me to discuss adding a weekly Parsha class (as an aside — aren’t our girls amazing?) As I was mulling over some ideas in my head and thinking who I can ask to take this on, they quickly suggested Mrs. Silver! That alone spoke volumes. 

When our students (and children) want more of us in their lives, we know we’re doing something right. 

It’s our running theme, but I’ll say it again: Be there for her. 

All the best, 

Mrs. Malky Bergstein

P.S. The ADHD Symposium, with lectures from David Becker, LCSW, ranks high on our February to-do list. As do our ice skating, snow tubing, and Panama trips! Looking forward!

A fashionably dim hall draped in gold and black…a magnificent balloon arch welcoming each guest…..personalized gifts gracing every seat…waiters bearing groaning platters of hors d’oeuvres. 

No, not heaven. 

Just our annual ✨Chanukah Staff Gala,✨ honoring one of the most exceptional groups of educators I’m proud to call my team. 

Join me in applauding the chain reactions that begin with our teachers and therapists in the classrooms, and reverberate with resounding familiarity throughout our students’ futures. 

When an Ichud graduate receives empathy and empowerment in our program and establishes a non-profit to help disadvantaged girls in our community — that’s a chain reaction.

When an Ichud graduate reaches out to a staff member for advice on how to deal with a suffering friend — that’s a chain reaction.

When an Ichud graduate appreciates the growth she made in our program and wants to pay it forward and become a social worker or a special ed teacher — that’s a chain reaction.

Remember, it all starts with ♥ our ♥ belief in them. 

I specifically chose to honor Rivka Lamm, MSW, as this month’s Feature Teacher, at our Chain Reaction Chanukah Celebration, because Rivka so personifies this approach in her unfailing belief in each student. 

A therapist without borders (or burnt-out batteries!), Rivka gives our girls the best of her boundless energy and enthusiasm and authentic, relatable self. Our students feel her belief in them, and can’t help but live up to her expectations. We are so grateful to have her on our team. 

Speaking about beliefs and the messages we feed ourselves, we were lucky to have Sashi Fridman, a holistic healer specializing in the EFT method, ‘tap’ us into shedding our negative beliefs and meeting the best versions of ourselves. And if you were really lucky you even got your palm and personality read by her!

To top the event off, our staff was treated to the very first unveiling of Ichud’s spanking new website. 

Project managed by the talented Chaya Daniela Bronshteyn of BeholdCopy, this masterpiece tells the world in no uncertain terms, “Your daughter is stronger than her challenges. At Ichud she’ll prove it.“

It’s a standing ovation to our 20+ years of creating confident and competent classroom learners. 

If you haven’t seen it yet, hop over to meet our heroines. 

If December wasn’t busy enough, wait until you hear about our Senior Shabbaton in Pomona! 

An awesome mix of inspiration and recreation, the girls had the Shabbos of their lives! 

Swimming, bowling, singing, challah baking, glow-in-the-dark golfing, and hair and makeup styling, not to mention Mikes Burger’s, Palisades Mall, photo shoots, board games, panels, and Senior speeches! PHEW! 

The highlight of the weekend, hands down, was the challah baking and hafrashas challah. Mrs. Jaroslowitz infused the mitzva and the moment with such other-worldliness it was impossible not to be moved.

A wonderful time was had by all. The girls thrive with this kind of quality time, and we love to give it to them!

And one more simcha!

This month, Ichud hosted a beautiful sheva brachos for graduate Tamar Vanderbilt. We were zoche to be addressed by Rabbi Dishon and Rabbi Mandel, and the simcha was enhanced by the participation of staff members and teachers.

It’s been a winter whirlwind, but I wouldn’t want it any other way!

The rest of the hemisphere may be hibernating, but here at Ichud, we’re just warming up!  

Check out what’s been brewing ➡

~PROVIDERS EXPO~

At the Special Education Providers Expo this month, Ichud was proud to be the sponsor of the Coffee Lounge. 

Our motto for this event, “Nurturing Children, Nourishing Minds Since 1999,” was emblazoned across the scrumptious buffet, highlighting the way our program stands up to the plate, again and again.  

Stands up and stands out. 

Ichud’s one-of-a-kind semi-inclusion model has been the envy of Brooklyn’s special education community for decades now, and the Expo was an opportunity for our educators to provide much-appreciated direction to new schools in the field. 

(Besides, anything that involves lots of fooding and schmoozing is a no-brainer for us.)

~TRIP TO THE COURTHOUSE~

I’m a huge believer in giving our students the best of experiential learning.   

Lucky for our students, this includes fun and educational field trips. 

In one of our most fascinating school trips, our students were personally invited to meet the Honorable Judge Ruchie Freier at her bench in the Brooklyn Courthouse. 

Judge Freier made history as Brooklyn’s first Chassidic female civil court judge and the girls were delighted to observe her in session, hear her riveting story, and enjoy a tour of her chambers. 

Not only did the bench trial supplement the U.S. government course curriculum beautifully, and give our girls a whole new dimension in understanding law and justice, it was an incredible privilege to meet with a frum woman who serves as an ambassador of justice. 

But the real reason I work months to secure this visit?

I’d like to hope that when our girls struggle with their own trials, they’ll recall this petite, bewigged judge, who despite the nudniks and naysayers, triumphed to the finish line and became a paragon of perseverance for women and girls the world over. 

~KNITTING CLASS IN THE SPOTLIGHT~

Knitting ain’t for little ol’ grannies anymore. 

Especially when you have an awesome teacher like Mrs. Mimi Srulowitz heading the show. 

Observing Mrs. Srulowitz artfully leading calm, productive knitting sessions is a powerful lesson in respecting our students where they’re at.

A fountain of patience and positivity, she gives each girl that special feeling, “You can and you count!” Each girl enjoys over-the-shoulder instruction at her own pace, at her own skill level. Talk about differentiating instruction!

The girls were thrilled to interview Mrs. Srulowitz for this month’s Feature Teacher column. They did such a fantastic job — makes me jealous I haven’t taken up knitting yet!

Thanks for wrapping up a wonderful November with me. 

“Gotcha!”

Seriously. 

Because you really don’t want to catch your teen with her hand in the cookie jar. (Or in the fridge, or with the car keys, or on her phone during class.)

Not if you value your relationship with her.  

A better idea: Catch her being GOOD. Accept and love her even when she’s not. And let her know you expect greater and better. 

This year’s Ichud Girls High School Teachers Orientation on September 6th featured a talk by Dr. Tamara Perlman, PsyD so riveting, it nearly upstaged the cheesecake and hot breakfast buffet. 

Dr. Perlman is a renowned clinical psychologist with years of experience under her belt, specializing in trauma in adolescents. In her warm and captivating style, she focused on the far-reaching effects empowering teacher relationships have on struggling students. 

Her years of clinical work have proven what many have suspected all along: after Mom, Teacher is the number one go-to person in a teen’s life.  

Simple measures of showing up, spending time, and acknowledging their struggles and efforts as unique G-dly beings, protect our teens from the default messages their brains are wired to play: “I’m stupid,” “Nothing I do makes a difference,” or “What’s the point anyway?”

The goal is to celebrate them where they’re at.

• When you say: “You took notes in class today! Not easy with a Regent subject,” She thinks, “I’m a capable person.”

• When you say: “You made it to class within five minutes of the bell!!! Woohoo!”  She thinks, “I’m a competent person.”

• “When you say “You davened Mincha every day this week!?! Those tefillos will rock the heavens!” She thinks, “I’m a connected person.”

And it’s this belief, this self-perception that imprints on her soul and psyche, reshaping her reality, and creating promise and purpose in her young life.  

⚠ Hold it right there, Mrs. Bergstein! ⚠

Are you suggesting that I turn a blind eye and pretend my daughter or student is a faultless angel who can do no wrong? Where’s accountability? Where’s responsibility?

No, I’m not. 

Because if you never expect more from your teen, you won’t get more. 

Dr. Perlman explained that all leadership is in conflict between acceptance and expectation. A parent or teacher is the quintessential tightrope walker, the ultimate purveyor of symmetry in a child’s life. 

In the word “emes,” spelled aleph mem taf, the aleph symbolizes the emunah, the unconditional love in the relationship. At the opposite end of the word, the taf represents the Torah, the rules and regulations we are expected to follow. 

And in the middle is the mem, the mother or Morah, who constantly pulls between both, creating the right balance and finding the right tension point that will communicate both acceptance and expectation. 

Staying in that space is what generates greatness and growth for our girls. 

Takes your breath away, no? I thought so too. Keep that thought warm. 

To cap off a superb event, my team and I released a reward system that changes how we at Ichud look at student struggles — specifically with attendance and class preparation. 

All the right elements are there: acceptance, expectation, and student-driven accountability. 

Watch the Present, Positive, and Prepared Program video:

You can take your hand out of the cookie jar now. 

We’re not looking. 🙈

You’re here!

Hold on, we’ve got to celebrate this. 

Here at Ichud, where education is as individual as teenagehood, we’re always celebrating. The good, the bad, and the fabulous. 

So we decided to make it official and share it with you.🥂 

Introducing Ichud Inspo: News, views, and good ol’ schmooze for Ichud parents and teachers. 

We’re here to cheer each other on with strategies that work, stories that inspire, and solutions that make a difference. 

Raising children with learning disabilities is an exhilarating and exhausting enterprise — one that has created unwitting experts out of us all. And we’re not planning on keeping any of our hard-won knowledge to ourselves. (Yeah, we’re nice like that.)

Like we say in the classroom, let’s do a think, pair, and share. You care to know, we care to show. 

Check this space for monthly support, surprises, and frame-worthy successes. 

Let’s make this year as awesome as the kid in your life.

P.S. This series is inspired by you. We’ve got lots to share, but we want to know the kind of material you’d love to see. Reply here to give us the lowdown. Looking forward! 😊